I want to tell you my secret

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tiger-in-the-flightdeck:

My baby brother’s first girlfriend recently confessed to thinking they were actually a boy. I asked my brother if this bothered him. His response was:

"Well, yeah. If I had have known they were a boy when we were going out, I would have said I had a boyfriend, not a girlfriend."

He was ten.

(via dulcetluhan)

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Operator:
911 what's your emergency?
Me:
THE AGE OF ULTRON TRAILER STILL HASN'T LEAKED I NEED YOU TO ARREST SOMEBODY.
Operator:
Oh mY GOD SIR REMAIN CALM WE WILL GET SOMEBODY ON THIS IMMEDIATELY.